Surviving Relationships during the Pandemic!
Free Download: Calming Caress CD – Releasing Anxiety
As the pandemic of the coronavirus is spreading, the stress of living in isolation is taking its toll on some people and pushing them over the brink. This has become very apparent in working with clients who are increasingly reporting that anxiety and stress are high and that they are taking some of the fear and frustration out on one another. Even couples that would usually relate quite well can be prone to lashing out at each other in the face of difficult situations.
Part of this is down to the fact that it may not be immediately apparent that it’s stress, fear and anxiety that’s causing a person to say harsh things or be insensitive when spoken to. Further adding to this is the fact that a person may experience high levels of emotional, psychological, and physical distress during periods of isolation that can temporarily disrupt their ability to function normally in day-to-day life. This depends on many things, such as the type and severity of the traumatic event and the meaning they give to the event. It also depends on the amount of available support, personality characteristics, levels of resilience, coping skills and triggers from the past. It’s essential to accept that one may not feel their usual self for some time, but it’s equally important to remind oneself that the pandemic and the isolation will not last forever.
We would like to offer several strategies that can be put in place to help you better deal with these reactions if they arise:
Calm Yourself and Cultivate Patience:
The best course of action during an argument is to be open about it. Express your feelings as they arise but avoid responding by pushing back, or withdrawing, as this can add fuel to the fire. When triggered by a situation or interaction, instead of fighting back, pause for a moment and be aware of your own emotional and physical state. Take ownership of how you are feeling. Notice for example whether the heart is racing, and there’s a surge of adrenaline. Take a few long deep breaths and calm yourself before responding. If you can acknowledge that feelings are bound to come in multi-layers–then you can learn to allow those feelings to be present. This acceptance means that you don’t have to spend your energy pushing the emotions away. For, avoiding negative emotions leads to avoiding situations, people and experiences and only makes you feel weaker and diminishes your coping skills. The fear of the looming negative emotion or projected outcome often ends up becoming a negative experience in itself and creates more anxiety. Instead, once the emotion is acknowledged and accepted, you can then choose responses and behaviours that are more in alignment with your core values and that bring you back to a more peaceful state of being. So, stay open no matter what thoughts or feelings arise, calm yourself and cultivate patience and know that this is an opportunity to heal, to reconnect with yourself and your loved ones.
Express Empathy & Don’t Be Critical: Remember that you are not likely to agree or see eye to eye on all things with your partner. Especially when your partner is stressed, he or she may become aloof or angry and may withdraw emotionally or even physically. This can leave you feeling lonely and vulnerable or unappreciated in your relationship. Don’t respond by criticising him or her, argue or defend yourself. Instead, it can be much more productive to just empathise and to ask questions and validate their feelings by saying: “You seem like you’re having a hard time. How can I help you right now?” This will open the lines of communication and let your partner know that they can depend on you for support. Also, by responding with empathy instead of criticism, you help de-escalate the situation and learn to understand how your partner is feeling. This, in turn, will help you work toward a solution together.
Cultivate the Habit of Appreciation and Gratitude: It’s important to look for what your partner or your kids are doing right, rather than focusing on what they are doing wrong. Make it a daily ritual to notice, appreciate and thank them, even for the smallest act of kindness. Hug each other often and express the love you feel for one another.
Self-Care: Self-care is essential to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others. It enhances positive feelings and lowers anxiety. When you are around each other all day and night, it’s crucial to set respectful boundaries, not intruding on each other’s time and thoughts. Spending some time alone without interruptions, doing something that nourishes you and makes you feel happy enables you to have a greater sense of self and increases your coping abilities. So much is going on, and the situation is changing so rapidly, so we are not going to notice everything that the other person needs or desires. So, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Also, remind yourself daily that you are doing the best you can and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself or get angry or frustrated if you are not able to do things the way you usually would. Make time for regular exercise, and do something you enjoy – it helps to ease the tension and release feel-good hormones.
We’re In This Together: No doubt, there will be many challenges to be faced and lessons to be learned for each one of us. But, we don’t have to live in fear. If we can remain open enough to be pulled from all the fearful thoughts, we will have the opportunity to begin to return to a more natural, mindful balance. Yes, there may be times when we might feel like we are on the edge of madness, helpless and alone, but there’s a place in each of us that knows that even amongst the chaos it’s possible to find peace and joy. In some way, we could say that this crisis offers us the opportunity to turn inward – to see the illusions that we have become familiar with. To refocus on what is important and needed and not what is simply wanted, and to discover the truth.
And, when we come out of this, and we will, the world as we know it would have changed. We would have changed. As to how we evolved, it will depend on the choices we make every moment during this isolation period. If we can be respectful and loving to others and ourselves during this time and be conscious not to cause harm to another, then we can create a new foundation for the world, and an awakened consciousness based on loving actions.
If we can love our neighbours as ourselves no matter what their belief system is, then we gladly go into isolation with an open heart, because we won’t want to cause any harm. So, in these challenging times, let’s all get together and respect the isolation, lockdown and social distancing. Let us be aware, listen and watch with new ears and new eyes and most of all, with an open heart. We are all in this together. Perhaps, the ways we connect now may be different than the way we used to connect before, but when given and received with an open heart, a cyber-hug can be just as powerful as a face to face hug.
Also, don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone about your experiences. Family and friends can be a source of great strength and emotional support. If you notice that your reactions are becoming chronic, please don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Remember – You are never alone!
Finally,
If you find yourself experiencing some anxiety or having trouble sleeping, or if you want to relax on a deep level, we would like to extend to you as a gift a free download of our very popular hypnotic CD “Calming Caress”.
Calming Caress is a wonderfully relaxing and calming hypnotic and subliminal recording echoed against a backdrop of specially blended music, sound and hypnotic language. This unique combination helps you create a shift in your mind to get into a place where you can release anxiety and enjoy peace, calm and deep relaxation.
We hope that the download below helps you in your personal journey of healing. No personal information is required to download this free “Calming Caress CD”. Simply follow the link:
Love and Blessings,
Angie & Terry Atman
Angie & Terry Atman Author
Angie & Terry Atman